Story of Lovers’ Meeting,
Parting, Waiting, Pining, and Feigning – Part 2
Marital Love
Parting
The young couple is happily married and enjoying
their married life. One day war breaks out between their country and a
neighboring country. The hero decides to join the war and fight on behalf of
his king. He realizes that in order for him to fight in the war, he must
travel, and his wife has to be home alone. After marriage, he has not gone away
from his village, leaving his wife alone at home. He is not sure how his wife
would react to the news of his going away to fight in a war. He is very
hesitant to break the news to her. He has been preparing for his impending
travel. He thought he was making the preparations without the knowledge of his
wife. But, the wife is very observant and suspects that he is planning to be
away from home on travel and that too a rather lengthy one. The thought of
being separated from her husband is very troublesome to her.
At this stage, the wife’s
girlfriend visits her. The girlfriend quickly finds out that something is
bothering the wife. She asks her the reason for her depressed mood. The wife
says, “I have found out that my husband is planning on travel, and I will have
to be alone. Until I found out about his travel, his very look was so sweet and
pleasing to me. Now, even his embrace saddens me because of his forthcoming travel
(kural – 1152). He is the one who told me that he will always be with me, and
he knows how difficult it is for me to be away from him. Now, he is planning to
go away on travel, leaving me alone. I am not sure whether I can depend on his
kind words and assurances anymore (kural – 1153).” The girlfriend understands
the mental agony of the wife and consoles her by saying that she will go and
talk to her husband and, if possible, ask him not to go. The girlfriend meets
with the husband and conveys his wife’s concern about his travel. The husband
says that there is going to be a war and that his king needs his support. So,
he says that his travel is unavoidable, and he hopes to be back soon. The
girlfriend tells the wife what the husband told her. The wife regrets by
saying, “If he is so heartless to announce his departure, I think there is no
hope that he will return to renew his love for me (kural – 1156)”. After a few
days, the husband comes to his wife with the idea of telling her directly about
his departure. The wife guesses what he is about to say. Before he could say
anything, she says, “If you are not going, tell me about it. If it is about
your quick return, tell that to those who will be alive when you come back
(kural -1151)”. In no uncertain terms, the wife tells him that she will die if
he leaves.
Shocked by his wife’s
abrupt refusal to accept his travel, the husband temporarily postpones his
plans for travel. He tries in vain to console her and convince her that his
participation in the war is essential for his king’s victory. Although she does
not agree with him, she reluctantly gives her consent for his travel. After a
few days, the husband leaves on his travel. The wife is feeling sad and lonely.
Her girlfriend visits her and offers her some words of consolation. The friend
says, “There are many who live through the pangs of separation and attendant
grief and survive till the return of their beloved (kural – 1160). You should
also shore up your courage and cheer up. He will come back soon.” But the wife
continues to be depressed.
Waiting and pining
The wife is unable to
bear the separation from her husband. Though she tries to control her emotions,
she is unable to control the tears from her eyes. She tells her friend, “It is
impossible for me to hide my passionate love for my husband. My eyes are like a
spring where the water gushes more and more when it is drained (kural – 1161).
I am swimming in the stormy sea of passionate love without being able to see
the shore. I am awake and all alone in the dead of night without anybody to
console me (kural – 1167). When every living being is sleeping in the night,
the night has no companion other than me (kural – 1168). If my eyes could
travel like my heart[1]
and be with my husband, they need not swim in the flood of tears as they do now
(kural – 1170).” Her ruminations
continue, and her eyes continue to shed tears.
The friend tells the
heroine not to cry. The heroine says it was not she who was crying; it was her
eyes. She says that her eyes are very anxious to see her husband, and that is
why they are crying. She begins to blame her eyes, as though they have a
separate existence and are capable of acting on their own volition. She
wonders, “These eyes of mine are the ones that showed me my lover, and because
of that, I began to love him. Now I am suffering from this unquenchable desire
to be with him. These eyes that are responsible for my present misery are now
crying. Why are they crying now (kural – 1171)?” She continues to blame her
eyes. She feels that her eyes should have known better. They are responsible
for involving her in a love affair with her husband, and that has resulted in
her present misery.
The heroine’s girlfriend,
who was patiently listening to all these ramblings of the heroine, chides her
by saying, “Why are you complaining about your eyes? They did not do anything.
You are the one who fell in love with your husband. He will come back soon. All
you have to do is to be positive and stop crying and get some sleep.” The heroine says, “You don’t know about these
eyes of mine. It is sweet that my eyes that are responsible for my pain should
themselves now grieve in sorrow (kural – 1176). These eyes went on looking at
my husband so lovingly. Let them suffer and dry up their tears (kural – 1177)”.
The girlfriend says, “I understand all that. But that is an old story. As I
told you before, there are many women who are able to bear the pangs of
temporary separation from their husbands. How come you are not able to bear the
pain of separation?” The wife replies, “We are not like other couples. We are
very close to each other. I love him very much. One day, I was hugging my
husband and sleeping. I just turned to the other side for a moment. That is it.
Instantaneously, overwhelming pallor[2] enveloped
me completely (kural - 1187). The other day, as soon as my husband departed for
his travel, pallor was all over my body (kural – 1185). Now, do you understand
how close we are? How can I tolerate this pain?” The girlfriend replied, “I
really can’t help you except saying that you consented to his travel and he
will be back soon. In the meantime, find a way to bear the pain of separation
and keep yourself healthy.” The girlfriend leaves for her home. The heroine
laments by thinking, “Having consented to his travel, to whom can I now
complain about my pallor or grief (kural – 1181)?”
The heroine is feeling
very lonely, helpless, and pining for her husband. At times, she wonders
whether her husband really loves her anymore. She says to herself, “Only those
who are loved by their beloved are blessed with the seedless fruit of love
(kural – 1191). The lover’s kindness to his beloved is like the timely rain to
those who depend on it (kural – 1192). Oh, my heart! Your effort to share your
grief with people who have no sympathy for you is useless. It is like trying to
dry up the sea (kural – 1200)!” She thinks, “My beloved resides in my heart.
But I wonder whether I have a place in his heart (kural – 1204).” She is about
to sneeze. But she actually does not go through with it. It was believed in
those days that people sneeze if someone close to them thinks of them. Since
she did not finish sneezing, she thinks that her husband started to think of
her, and then he forgot (kural – 1203). Her mind wanders back and forth. She
recalls the happy days of their married life. That makes her feel good. But
then, the separation really bothers her.
After a few days, the
girlfriend visits the heroine to check how she is doing. The heroine says, ”I
had a dream last night. The dream brought me a message from my husband. What
kind of a treat can I give this wonderful dream that brought me a message from
him (kural – 1211)? Though my husband does not show up and make me happy during
waking hours, he does come into my dream. That is the reason my life lingers on
(kural – 1213). In my dreams, he embraces my shoulders; but when I wake up, he
rushes back to my heart (kural – 1218).” The girlfriend is somewhat relieved
that the heroine sees her husband, at least in her dreams, and feels good about
it.
The heroine has been
waiting anxiously for her husband’s arrival, which is taking longer than she
expected. She finds that the pain of separation is more during the evenings.
She tells her girlfriend, “The pain of separation from my husband is like a bud
in the morning and blossoms into a full-blown passion in the evening (kural –
1227). So long as my beloved stayed with me, I did not know that the evenings
could bring so much pain (kural – 1226).”
Finally, the heroine
reaches a stage where she finds it increasingly difficult to bear the pain of
separation. When her husband was with her, he used to say that her eyes are
more beautiful than the flowers. Now, she feels that her eyes have lost their
beauty, and they are ashamed to look at the flowers (kural – 1231). She also
feels that her eyes have become pale and tearful, and they reveal the unkind
behavior of her husband (kural – 1232). Her shoulders swelled with joy when she
rejoiced with her husband. Now, they proclaim their separation to the whole
world (kural – 1233). She has become weak. Her shoulders have thinned, and her
bracelets have become loose. All these physical changes make her more
miserable. She feels that her heart is very close to her husband. So, she is
asking her heart, “Why don’t you think about my situation and come up with a
solution for my ongoing suffering (kural – 1241)?” She tells her heart, “When
you go to see my husband next time, please take my eyes with you. They want to
see him so badly that they are eating me alive with their desire to see him
(kural – 1244)?”
The heroine is getting
frustrated at the separation and really wants her husband to come home. She has
been making a mark on the wall corresponding to each day of her husband’s
absence. She claims that her fingers are worn out by touching and counting the
marks she has made on the wall (kural – 1261). She imagines what she would do
as and when her husband comes home. She wonders, “When my darling husband comes
home, do I sulk? Do I embrace him? Or shall I do both (kural – 1267)”
The hero is also anxious
to go home. He wishes that his king would soon be victorious in the war so that
he can go home and have a feast with his wife (kural – 1268). He feels that for
those who are counting the days until the return of their beloved, a single day
will drag on like seven days (kural – 1269). He fears that his wife may be
brokenhearted and face death because of his prolonged absence. He is afraid
that, in that case, his reunion may be too late and meaningless (kural – 1270).
Finally, the hero is back
home. He is excited to be home with his wife. Likewise, his wife is also
thrilled that he is back. He looks at her and observes that although she is
outwardly happy, something bothers her. He tells her, “In spite of your attempt
to hide something from me, your eyes are trying to tell me something (kural -
1271).” She remains silent. He looks at the wife’s girlfriend and says, “Like
the thread that is visible through the crystal beads in a necklace, I am able
to sense that there is something in my wife’s mind (kural – 1273). I see her
smile. But there is something that lurks in her budding smile like the
fragrance in the flower bud (kural – 1274).”
The girlfriend knows the heroine very well and guesses what goes on in
the heroine’s mind and conveys that to the husband. The girlfriend says, “Did
you notice what she did? She looked at her shoulders, that has become very
thin. She looked at her bracelets, that are now loose. The same bracelets were
fitting before your separation from her. Then she glanced at her feet. She is
afraid that you may leave her and go away again. She is trying to tell you that
if you plan to go away, she would like to go with you. She does not want to go
through the painful experience of separation again (kural – 1279).” The husband understands his wife’s genuine
concern and assures her that he has no intention of leaving her alone and going
away.
Feigning
A few days later, one day
the girlfriend and the heroine are alone. The heroine had told her friend
earlier that when her husband returned, she was going to be mad at him. But,
when her husband came home, the heroine was not really mad at her husband. She
was very happy and enjoyed her intimacy with her husband. The girlfriend wants
to tease the heroine. So, the friend asks, “What about all those things you
told me about getting mad at your husband upon his return? You seem to be
having fun with him now!”. The heroine replies, “What can I do? When a woman’s
passion for love has grown big and immense, there is no place for even a little
sulking (kural – 1282). To tell you the truth, I wanted to get mad or at least
sulk a little. But, my heart forgot all about it and yearned only for union
with him (kural – 1284). When I am near him, I cannot see his faults. When he
is not near, I see nothing but his faults (kural – 1286). My eyes do not see
the brush that paints them when I am painting. Just like that, when he is near
me, I do not see his faults (kural – 1285). What is the use of sulking at him?
I know that I cannot sustain it (kural – 1287)”. After the girlfriend leaves,
the heroine is alone and talks to herself and wonders about her inability to
control her passion and to sulk at her husband. She blames her heart for her
inability to sulk and tells her heart, “Oh, my heart! His heart abides by his
desires. How come you don’t cooperate with me (kural – 1291)? I am not going to
consult with you my more (kural – 1294).”
After thinking about her
failure to sulk at her husband, she decides to try again. One evening, she is
with her friend. The friend suggests, “When your husband comes, avoid embracing
him and pretend to be mad at him. Let us see the fun and see how he gets annoyed
over it (Kural – 1301). Remember that a little sulking with your husband is
like salt in food. It is good if it is in the right measure. Prolonging it is
like excess salt in food (kural – 1302).” As expected, the husband arrives at
the scene. As it was the custom in those days, he wore flowers in his hair.
They were the flowers from far off land. He thought his wife would be impressed
by those flowers, and she would embrace him. The wife does not embrace him. She
pretends to be mad at him. In order to please her, he says to her, “I love you
more than anyone else.” She retorts, “More than whom? More than whom (kural –
1314)?” When he tells her, “I will not
part from you in this life,” her eyes are filled with tears (kural – 1315). She
deliberately interpreted his statement that he might part from her in the next
life and continued sulking. When he stretched out his hand to embrace her and
said, “I was just thinking about you,” she refused to embrace him and retorted,
“That means you forgot me. Why did you forget me (kural – 1316)?”
During this interlude of
fake anger by his wife, the husband happened to sneeze. As it was the custom,
the wife blessed him and started crying by saying, “Who is thinking of you now
(kural – 1317)?” After a while, he was about
to sneeze again. Since his wife got upset with him the last time when he
sneezed, he tries to control his sneeze. That did not help. She noticed that he
was trying to control his sneeze, and she started to cry again by saying,
“Somebody is thinking about you, and that is why you are sneezing. You don’t
want me to know about that. That is why you are trying to control your sneeze
(kural – 1318).” The husband wants to comfort her. But she gets angrier and
says, “Is this how you comfort other women when they are angry at you (kural –
1319)?” Finally, he gives up his attempts to comfort her and just keeps looking
at her silently and admiring her beauty. But the wife is still pretending to be
mad at him and asks, “Why are you looking at me like this? Who are you
comparing me against (kural – 1320)?”
Eventually, after profuse
apologies from her husband, the wife is unable to pretend that she is angry.
When he comes forward to embrace her, she embraces him with overwhelming joy.
Their embrace led to their union, which was an exhilarating experience for the
couple. The husband thinks, “Even though there is no fault on my part, the
temporary denial of my beloved’s embrace has its own special charm when we
consummate our love (kural – 1325). Sulking is a delight to the passion of love,
and when the sulking ends in close embrace, it becomes the final crowning bliss
of love (kural -1330).”
[1] It
is a literary tradition to attribute the feeling of love to the heart rather
than the mind.
[2] Pallor is
a pale color of the skin that can be caused by illness, emotional shock or
stress, stimulant use, or anemia, and is the result of a reduced amount of oxyhaemoglobin and is visible in skin or mucous membrane.
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