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Saturday, December 19, 2015

Valluvar on Love and Compassion


Valluvar on Love and Compassion

Dr. R. Prabhakaran

Introduction

The English word “love” has many interpretations. Some would say that it is a feeling, whereas others may say it is an emotion. It is also often described as “chemistry, passion, commitment, affection, attachment, attraction,” and so on. The real meaning of the word “love” depends on the context. Some may use the word to describe their feelings towards God, whereas others may use it to express their feelings about their romantic partner. Some people would even use the word to describe their feelings towards their pet or an inanimate object. It is also often used as a synonym for the word “like.”

 

 Valluvar’s Ideas on Love

In the context of the Kural, the word “love” is used to describe affection, concern, and kindness for one’s family members, friends, relatives, and other acquaintances. In the Chapter on Love (Chapter 8), Valluvar asserts the following:

 

Love is the quintessence of life; without it, a man is nothing but a frame

of bones covered with skin.                                                                            (kural – 80)

Love is the one thing that binds the body with life.                                       (kural – 73)

 

The above two kurals emphasize that love is the essential ingredient that sustains life in the human body. In other words, one without love is not really alive. Valluvar reemphasizes in the following kural that even if one has all the parts of his body functioning properly if his heart is without love, his external organs are really useless: 

If a man’s heart is devoid of love, to what avail are his external organs?     (kural – 79)

In all the above kurals, Valluvar conveys that inherently everyone has the ability to love. According to him, love is part of basic human nature. As Mahatma Gandhi says, "Where there is love, there is life.”  However, love is often overshadowed by other emotions such as anger, selfishness and jealousy, and so on. The idea is that one should find love in one’s heart and cherish it and reflect it in all interactions with others. The truly happy people are those who love others. Such a life of love is indeed very rewarding. Again, according to Valluvar,

The bliss the joyous people enjoy in this world is said to be the fruit of

life with love towards others.                                                                         (kural – 75)

 

Other well-known writers and thinkers express similar ideas regarding love. For example, the author, motivational speaker, and professor Leo Buscaglia says, “Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.” Also, the importance of love is eloquently described by the famous Irish playwright, novelist, and essayist Oscar Wilde when he says, “Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden with dead flowers.” 


            It is love that binds families together. The love between husband and wife and their love towards their children is the foundation for happiness in family life. It is love that inspires a family member to make sacrifices for his loved ones. Valluvar says,

Those without love in their heart will keep all they have to themselves.

The ones with love in their heart will give away even their bones to

their loved ones.                                                                                             (kural – 72)

 

            In addition to the love towards family members, one’s love towards one’s acquaintances tends to create a desire for their welfare, which results in the excellence of friendship (kural – 74). In other words, casual acquaintances may turn into lasting friendships because of love. One’s love towards others is often reciprocated by others, and thus love begets love. Love among family members and community members fosters overall happiness and camaraderie in a society.

Extension of Love

As the Greek philosopher Aristotle observes, “Man is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human. Society is something that precedes the individual. Anyone who either cannot lead the common life or is so self-sufficient and therefore does not partake of society is either a beast or a god.” In reality, man is neither a beast nor a god. He is part and parcel of society. People are interdependent on each other for their survival. So, how should a man who loves his family and friends behave towards other people? What does Valluvar say about a man’s attitude towards other members of society? While Valluvar uses the word “love” in a narrow sense to mean the affection, attachment, and kindness among family members, relatives, friends, and other acquaintances, he defines “compassion” as the offspring of love (kural – 757). This compassion, as described by Valluvar, is the hallmark of universal and unconditional love towards all living beings, including human beings. According to Valluvar, compassion is the extension of love, and one should act with compassion towards all living beings.

 

 Sympathy, Empathy, and Compassion

Although the words “sympathy,” “empathy,” and “compassion” denote the tendency, practice, or capacity to share the feelings of others, especially their pain and suffering, there are essential differences among them. The feelings of sympathy and empathy are the precursors to compassion. Sympathy is the awareness of another person's pain and suffering, requiring our attention so that it can be alleviated. In the case of sympathy, the emphasis is on awareness coming into the knowledge that there is another person whose situation is deserving of our attention and that there is some element of pain and suffering that that person is experiencing. One can have sympathy for a wounded dog, suffering child, grieving friend, or anyone experiencing any kind of pain and suffering. Having sympathy does not necessarily mean that it will be followed by action to alleviate the pain and suffering. While the focus of sympathy is awareness, empathy focuses on experiencing others’ pain and suffering as our own. Empathy is the attempt of one who is self-aware to understand and even vicariously experience another person's situation and emotional state. A doctor may have sympathy for a child’s suffering. But, a mother will have empathy for her child’s suffering because she can truly experience the child’s suffering as her own. Compassion is taking a step further, where a person feels empathy and then tries to take action to alleviate the suffering of the other person. The emphasis here is on the action. Compassion for another person requires one to put the other person first, imagine what the person is going through, and then consider ways to help the person feel better and cope with the situation.

 

Valluvar questions the utility of one’s wisdom if one cannot treat others’ suffering as one’s own (kural -315). For Valluvar, the awareness of others’ pain and suffering (sympathy) and treating them as one’s own (empathy) should lead to compassion. For him, compassion is the most important quality in a human being. He says, “The world exists because of the existence of the uniquely beautiful quality of compassion (kural - 571).” More recently, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, the Tibetan people's spiritual leader, echoed the same sentiment when he said, “Compassion is a necessity, not a luxury. Without it, humanity cannot survive.”

Compassion and the Golden Rule

Karen Armstrong OBE[1] FRSL[2] is a British author and commentator well known for her books on comparative religion. In her book, 12 Steps to a More Compassionate Life, she says that the fundamental principle of compassion is the Golden Rule: “Do unto others what you would want others to do unto you.” Although this Golden Rule is often attributed to the Chinese Philosopher Confucius (551 BC – 479 BC), the same idea can be found in all religions and ethical traditions. This Golden Rule can also be restated as a negative injunction: “Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you.” The positive version of the Golden Rule stresses what a compassionate person should do, and the negative version emphasizes the actions he should avoid.

 

Valluvar and the Golden Rule

Valluvar’s ideas on virtues cover both versions of the above-stated Golden Rule. For example, when Valluvar talks about hospitality (Chapter 9), speaking in a kind and gentle manner (Chapter 10), being thankful to others for their acts of kindness (Chapter 11), being equitable and impartial (Chapter 12), exercising self-control (Chapter 13), possessing decorum (Chapter 14), having forbearance (Chapter 16) being fearful of evil (Chapter 21), realizing social responsibility (Chapter 22), helping the poor by practicing charity (Chapter 23), compassion (Chapter 25) and being truthful (Chapter 30), he stresses the positive version of the Golden Rule. When Valluvar advocates the avoidance of the following qualities and activities, he is really implying the negative version of the Golden Rule: adulterous thoughts and actions (Chapter 15), envy (Chapter 17), covetousness (Chapter 18), slander (Chapter 19), futile speech (Chapter 20), meat-eating (Chapter 26), being an impostor (Chapter 28), fraud (Chapter 29), anger (Chapter 31), violence (Chapter 32), and killing (Chapter 33). Some of the virtues delineated by Valluvar are about proactive patterns of good behavior, whereas others are significant acts of compassion aimed at alleviating the pain and suffering of others. For example, a person practicing speaking in a kind and gentle manner may be considered nice, polite, and courteous to others. However, such a virtue cannot be considered an act of compassion. On the other hand, virtues such as hospitality, charity, and philanthropy are acts of compassion, and they significantly impact society and help those suffering from hunger, poverty, illness, and other similar miseries. Nonviolence and non-killing are extremely compassionate virtues that help to combat cruelty and harm to other living beings.

 

Hospitality

During the days of Valluvar, there were no hotels where travelers could stay, and there were no restaurants for travelers to eat on their way. They depended upon the hospitality of the local families for lodging and boarding in the areas where they traveled. Therefore, helping travelers and even strangers was considered a great virtue and duty of those leading a family life. In the context of the Kural, the term “guests” means strangers. Entertaining and being hospitable to friends and family members were considered essential aspects of the culture and, therefore, not considered special virtues. However, hospitality to strangers was certainly considered an act of compassion by Valluvar. 

 

The only purpose of family life is to entertain guests and exercise hospitality.        (kural -81)

Even the nectar of immortality should not be consumed without sharing with

guests waiting outside.                                                                                               (kural – 82)

Differences between Charity and Philanthropy

Although the terms “charity” and “philanthropy” are often used interchangeably, there are some differences between the two. Charity tends to be a short-term, emotional, immediate response focused primarily on rescue and relief measures, whereas philanthropy is much more long-term, more strategic, and focused on rebuilding and permanent solutions to societal problems. For example, a person or an organization engaged in charitable work may provide food and shelter to a homeless person. Whereas a philanthropist or a philanthropic organization would focus attention on addressing the root causes of homelessness so that such situations can be avoided. Generally, in the case of charity, there is direct contact between those who need help and those who provide help. In the case of philanthropy, there may not be any direct connection between the helper and those who receive help. Valluvar places importance on charity as well as philanthropy.

 

Charity

            Valluvar is a firm believer in the equality of all people. He declares, “All human beings are equal by birth, but distinctions arise only because of different qualities of their actions (kural – 972).” He also says, “Only those who realize that they are part and parcel of the society are the ones who are really alive. All others are deemed dead. (214).” This concept of equality and the inherent ability to identify with all humans are expected to induce empathy for others’ pain and suffering. Valluvar is of the opinion that this empathy should lead to compassion, and in turn, compassion should result in actions to relieve others’ pain and suffering. In some cases, compassion may result in charity aimed to help individuals, and in other cases, it may be in the form of philanthropy focused more on long-term and strategic activities to solve societal problems. To him, charity is nothing but helping the poor. There is nothing crueler than not being able to help the poor. These ideas can be found in the following kurals:

 

To give to the needy alone is charity. All the rest is an investment in anticipation

of a return.                                                                                                                              (kural – 221)

The removal of the fatal hunger of the destitute is the right place to

deposit one’s wealth.                                                                                                              (kural - 226)

Nothing is as painful as death. Even death will become sweet if a charity

cannot be exercised.                                                                                                              (kural – 230)

In life, there is nothing more worthwhile than to be recognized for

charity to the poor.

                                                                                                                                                (kural – 231)

Philanthropy

Valluvar is of the opinion that “God has not created anyone to beg for his survival, and in case He had done so, he should come down to this earth and wander like a beggar and perish (kural – 1062).”  Valluvar’s view of the world is that everyone should have the opportunity to earn a livelihood and live with dignity. In fact, it is the responsibility of the government to ensure that everyone has such an opportunity. But, in many countries, the governments are unable to provide the help needed by their citizens. Even in the wealthiest of all nations of the world, the USA, there is a staggering number of homeless people and an increasing number of people who are living below the poverty line. Although the government has the duty to ensure the welfare of its citizens, there are always situations where the government cannot address all the problems of all the people. Many non-governmental organizations and kind-hearted compassionate volunteers and donors are needed to collaborate and complement the efforts of the government to address the crisis of poverty and other social issues in many countries. Valluvar believes everyone has a social responsibility to help their fellow human beings. He seems to trust the compassion of the individuals rather than the bureaucratic machinery of the government to address societal problems. So, Valluvar is not off the mark when he emphasizes the role of individuals to be compassionate and helpful to those who need help. According to Valluvar, “All the wealth gained through hard work is for doing service to the deserving people (kural - 212).”  

 

Valluvar proposes three models for practicing philanthropy. The first model is the “Fresh Water Lake Model.” Here, “The wealth of a man of eminent knowledge who loves the world and wants to exercise benevolence is like a lake with fresh drinking water (kural – 215).” In other words, his wealth will provide a perennial supply of benefits to the needy people, like a tank with drinking water that supplies water to all the people all the time. This type of philanthropy offers the maximum benefit to a large number of people for a very long time. For example, modern philanthropic foundations like the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, McArthur Foundation, Ford Foundation, and other such large foundations have large sums of money in the bank, and the interest obtained from the capital is used to benefit those who seek assistance. Since the capital is never used, this type of foundation can provide help to a large number of people for a very long time.

Next is the “Fruit Tree model.” In this case, “The wealth of a very benevolent philanthropist is like a fruit tree in the middle of a town (kural – 216).”  The fruit tree supplies fruits to a fairly large number of people for a specific period of time. When the fruit season is over, those who need the fruit from the tree will have to wait till the following season. Practitioners of this type of philanthropy provide help when there is money and when there is no money, they wait until more funds are available. Examples of this type of philanthropy would include modern philanthropic organizations like the United Way, Red Cross, and other organizations which depend upon donations from the donors and provide benefits as long as funds are available and wait until more funds are available to render additional services.

The last model suggested by Valluvar is the “Medicinal Tree Model.” “The wealth of a truly magnanimous philanthropist is like a medicinal tree (kural – 217).” In the case of a medicinal tree in which every part of the tree, including its roots, bark, flowers, fruits, seeds, and leaves, is useful for medicinal purposes, people would harvest all parts of the tree, and the tree would no longer exist. Similarly, the truly magnanimous philanthropist would distribute all his wealth until there is nothing left to give. This type of philanthropy is like the “Spend Down Foundations” in the USA. In a Spend Down Foundation, all the assets are spent for the intended purpose, and once the assets are depleted, then there is nothing to give.

Although the models described above deal with the philanthropic patterns of the rich, Valluvar does not limit philanthropy to the rich. In fact, he is of the opinion that it is everyone’s duty to be aware of their social responsibility and should feel the need for sharing whatever they have with deserving people who are in need. To be specific, he says,

If benevolence would result in one’s ruin, then it is worth securing that ruin by

selling oneself, if necessary.                                                                                       (kural – 220)

 

According to Valluvar, there is nothing better than philanthropy either in this world or in heaven (kural – 213). One cannot be more emphatic than Valluvar in advocating charity and philanthropy.

Nonviolence and non-Killing as acts of compassion

Millions of people are non-vegetarians. They enjoy eating meat. They are oblivious to the harm and hurt the animals would have felt when they were butchered. But, there are those who realize that killing animals for the sake of eating their flesh is indeed nothing but cruelty to those animals. Based on this realization, they abstain from eating meat and become vegetarians or vegans. This is truly an act of compassion. There are many who are vegetarians by birth and have never eaten meat. There are others who do not like to eat meat because of hygienic and health reasons. Their adherence to a vegetarian diet is due to family traditions or other reasons and may not be really due to their compassion towards other living beings. However, if one follows a vegetarian or a vegan diet out of concern for other living beings, it is definitely an act of compassion. Valluvar asks, “How can it be consistent with compassion to fatten oneself on the flesh of other creatures (kural – 251).” He adds, “Those who realize that the meat is obtained by creating an ulcerous wound on another creature should abstain from eating meat (kural – 257).” Valluvar contends that if one realizes that meat-eating is an act of cruelty and abstains from eating meat, then he is practicing compassion. 

 

Just like avoiding eating meat based on the conviction that it is a form of cruelty to animals, abstaining from acts of violence towards other living beings is considered an act of compassion. Again, the underlying motivation for abstaining from violence should be the realization that violence is injurious and harmful, and others’ suffering is like our own suffering. Valluvar is strictly opposed to mental, verbal, and physical violence against any living being at any time. His opposition to violence can be seen in the following kurals:

One must abstain from doing deeds to others that one feels are painful to himself.           (kural – 316)

Why does a man inflict those things he found harmful to himself upon

other living beings?                                                                                                                 (kural – 318)

 

Since speech and actions emanate from the mind, Valluvar considers that “It is the supreme virtue not to have a harmful thought about anybody in any degree at any moment (kural 317).” Therefore, from the point of view of Valluvar, conscious and deliberate action undertaken to avoid violence is an act of compassion.

Obviously, not inflicting harm to other living beings based on the knowledge of and empathy for their suffering is an act of compassion. But there are occasions when other human beings, animals, and even plants may need our help. Helping them is also an act of compassion. Tamil literature alludes to an extraordinary act of compassion towards a plant by a king named Paari. One day, king Paari was going into a forest in his horse-driven chariot. He noticed a jasmine creeper lying on the ground without a tree or any other support to climb upon. He felt that the creeper might be trampled upon by animals and die. He left his chariot as support for the jasmine creeper to climb upon and thrive and went back to his palace on his horse. Another king named Pehan saw a peacock shivering in the cold weather, and he instantaneously took his upper garment and covered the peacock to protect it from the severe weather. These examples illustrate that compassion originates from one’s heart and it manifests itself in many ways. Sometimes, avoiding violence towards other living beings may be an act of compassion. Sometimes helping other living beings, including human beings, animals, and plants, may be an act of compassion. 

Conclusion

Valluvar considers that it is natural for one to have concern and attachment to one’s immediate family. In his scheme of things, this concern and attachment, which he calls love for one’s family, and relatives, should expand to other people and to all living beings. According to him, the expanded version of love is compassion. This compassion may manifest in the form of charity towards the poor, inspired by a sense of social responsibility. It may also manifest as philanthropy. Charity and philanthropy should be practiced because they are the right thing to do and not because of any anticipated gain in this life or in the future lives. He says that even if heaven is denied to the giver, giving (charity) is still good (kural – 222). Like charity, philanthropy should also be carried out as a duty to society without expecting anything in return. In fact, he says, “Duty to society demands no return; what good could the world do to recompense the cloud that pours rain (kural – 211).”  When Nobel laureate Albert Schweitzer says, “The purpose of human life is to serve and to show compassion and the will to help others,” we can hear him echoing Valluvar’s ideas on love and compassion.

 



[1] OBE – Officer of the Order of the British Empire, a honorary title conferred by the British monarch in recognition of outstanding service.

[2] FRSL – Fellow of the Royal Society of Literature


Bibliography
Aiyar, V.V. S. Thirukkural. Sri Ramakrishna Thapovanam, Tiruparaithurai, Tirucirapalli District,
            India: 2001.
Armstrong, Karen. Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life, Anchor Books, A Division of Random
House, Inc. New York, USA: 2010
Buscaglia, Leo. Love: What Life Is All about. Published by Ballantine Books, A Division of Random House, Inc. New York,
USA: 1972
Diaz, S.M. Thirukkural. Volumes 1 &2.  Ramanandha Adigalar Foundation, Chennai: 2000.
Drew, W.H., Lazarus, John, Rev. Thirukkural – English Translation. Asian Educational services,
Madras (Chennai): 1996.
Lama, Dalai, The Art of Happiness, Penguin Publishing Group, 1998
Nambi, Agamudai, K.C. Thirukkural (With English verses). K.C. Agamudai Nambi, Madurai, 2004.
தமிழண்ணல். திருவள்ளுவர் அருளிய திருக்குறள். மீனாட்சி புத்தக
                நிலையம், மயூரா வளாகம், மதுரை: 1999.



Appendix

அன்புடைமை
அன்பிலார் எல்லாம் தமக்குரியர் அன்புடையார்
என்பும் உரியர் பிறர்க்கு.                                         71
அன்போடு இயைந்த வழக்கென்ப ஆருயிர்க்கு
என்போடு இயைந்த தொடர்பு.                              73
அன்புஈனும் ஆர்வம் உடைமை அதுஈனும்
நண்புஎன்னும் நாடாச் சிறப்பு.                                74
அன்புற்று அமர்ந்த வழக்கென்ப வையகத்து
இன்புற்றார் எய்தும் சிறப்பு.                                    75
புறத்துறுப்பு எல்லாம் எவன்செய்யும் யாக்கை
அகத்துறுப்பு அன்பி லவர்க்கு.                                79
அன்பின் வழியது உயிர்நிலை அஃதிலார்க்கு
என்புதோல் போர்த்த உடம்பு.                                80

விருந்தோம்பல்
இருந்தோம்பி இல்வாழ்வ  தெல்லாம் விருந்தோம்பி
வேளாண்மை செய்தற் பொருட்டு.                         81
விருந்து புறத்ததாத் தானுண்டல் சாவா
மருந்தெனினும் வேண்டற்பாற் றன்று.                  82
           
ஒப்புரவறிதல்
கைம்மாறு வேண்டா கடப்பாடு மாரிமாட்டு
என்ஆற்றுங் கொல்லோ உலகு.                             211
தாளாற்றித் தந்த பொருளெல்லாம் தக்கார்க்கு
வேளாண்மை செய்தற் பொருட்டு.                        212
புத்தே ளுலக்த்தும் ஈண்டும் பெறலரிதே
ஒப்புறவின் நல்ல பிற.                                         213                         
ஒத்த தறிவோன் உயிர்வாழ்வான் மற்றையான்
செத்தாருள் வைக்கப் படும்.                                     214
ஊருணி நீர்நிறைந் தற்றே உலகவாம்
பேரறி வாளன் திரு.                                                  215
பயன்மரம் உள்ளூர்ப் பழுத்தற்றால் செல்வம்
நயனுடை யான்கண் படின்.                                    216
மருந்தாகித் தப்பா மரத்தற்றால் செல்வம்
பெருந்தகை யான்கண் படின்.                                 217
ஒப்புரவி னால்வரும் கேடெனின் அஃதொருவன்
விற்றுக்கோள் தக்க துடைத்து.                               220
           
ஈகை
வறியார்க்குஒன்று ஈவதே ஈகைமற் றெல்லாம்
குறியெதிர்ப்பை நீர துடைத்து.                               221
நல்லாறு எனினும் கொளல்தீது மேலுலகம்
இல்லெனினும் ஈதலே நன்று.                                 222
அற்றார் அழிபசி தீர்த்தல் அஃதொருவன்
பெற்றான் பொருள்வைப் புழி.                                226
சாதலின் இன்னாத தில்லை இனிததூஉம்
ஈதல் இயையாக் கடை.                                           230

புகழ்
ஈதல் இசைபட வாழ்தல் அதுவல்லது
ஊதியம் இல்லை உயிர்க்கு.                                    231
           
புலான்மறுத்தல்
தன்னூன் பெருக்கற்குத் தான்பிறிது ஊனுண்பான்
எங்ஙனம் ஆளும் அருள்?                                         251
உண்ணாமை வேண்டும் புலாஅல் பிறிதொன்றன்
புண்ணது உணர்வார்ப் பெறின்.                             257
           
இன்னாசெய்யாமை
அறிவினான் ஆகுவ துண்டோ பிறிதின்நோய்
தந்நோய்போல் போற்றாக் கடை.                          315
இன்னா எனத்தான் உணர்ந்தவை துன்னாமை
வேண்டும் பிறன்கண் செயல்.                                 316
எனைத்தானும் எஞ்ஞான்றும் யார்க்கும் மனத்தானாம்
மாணாசெய் யாமை தலை.                                      317
தன்னுயிர்க்கு ன்னாமை தானறிவான் என்கொலோ
மன்னுயிர்க்கு இன்னா செயல்.                               318
           
கண்ணோட்டம்
கண்ணோட்டம் என்னும் கழிபெருங் காரிகை
உண்மையான் உண்டிவ் வுலகு.                          571        
           
பொருள்செயல்வகை      
அருளென்னும் அன்பீன் குழவி பொருளென்னும்
செல்வச் செவிலியால் உண்டு.                             757        
           

பெருமை     
பிறப்பொக்கும் எல்லா உயிர்க்கும் சிறப்பொவ்வா   
செய்தொழில் வேற்றுமை யான்.                            972     
           
இரவச்சம்   
இரந்தும் உயிர்வாழ்தல் வேண்டின் பரந்து
கெடுக உலகியற்றி யான்.                                    1062      




[1]  The Tamil version of all the kurals referenced in this article can be found in the Appendix.
[2] OBE – Officer of the Order of the British Empire, a honorary title conferred by the British monarch in recognition of outstanding service.

[3] FRSL – Fellow  of the Royal Society of Literature
[4] “Chapter” refers to the Chapter in the Kural