Valluvar
on Forbearance
R.
Prabhakaran
The words "forbearance" and "patience" are
considered synonyms. But they do not mean the same thing. Forbearance is
patient self-control, restraint, and tolerance under provocation, while
patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting
angry or upset. In other words, forbearance implies patience under provocation,
while patience is simply the capacity to tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering
where there is no provocation involved.
Although the concept of forbearance has been around for a long time, it
was not always practiced in real life. Hammurabi was the sixth king of the
First Babylonian Dynasty, reigning from 1792 BC to 1750 BC. His lasting contribution to western society was his set of laws
written on twelve stones and displayed publicly for all to see, the
most common being, "Eye for eye, tooth for a tooth." The law's
original intent was that the punishment should match the crime. Later, it has
come to be associated with retaliation for any harm done to someone. That is,
the affected person retaliates against the one who hurt him in the same way he
was hurt. However, it should be noted that Hammurabi's code was not universally
accepted. Most religions have always
advocated the avoidance of conflicts and adopting forbearance as the preferred
way to handle insults and provocations. An example of extraordinary forbearance can
be seen in the Bible. When Jesus Christ was crucified,
he prayed to God and asked Him to forgive those who crucified him (Luke 23:34).
Along the lines of Jesus Christ, Valluvar also promoted forbearance as the
ideal way to handle provocations. He has dedicated a chapter on forbearance
(Chapter 16 of the Kural), where he emphasizes the merits and advantages of
forbearance.
Forbearance is a virtue
When confronted with
insults and harmful actions against us by others, our most natural reaction is
to retaliate. Valluvar says it is better to exercise self-control and tolerate
their misbehavior. In other words, he recommends forbearance as the preferred
approach. According to him, those who want to retain all their virtues should
practice forbearance. Those who neglect to exercise forbearance will retaliate
in anger and deviate from other virtues. In order to emphasize the importance
of forbearance, Valluvar cites the example of the earth, which tolerates and
supports even those who dig it.
If a man wants to retain
his fullness of virtue, he should cherish the practice of forbearance. (kural-154)
Like the earth that
supports even those who dig it, it is the supreme virtue
to be patient with those
who scorn you. (kural-151)
Retaliation, forbearance, doing good in return
and forgetting
Retaliation and
forbearance: There are those who, by virtue of their power, position, or status,
tend to be arrogant and mistreat others. According to Marcus Aurelius (121 AD –
180 AD), the Roman emperor, "The best revenge is not to copy him who
wronged you (Marcus Aurelius, Book VI-6)." Valluvar is in complete
agreement with Marcus Aurelius. According to Valluvar, when confronted with insults
and transgressions by others, it is better to tolerate rather than retaliate.
While retaliation gives only temporary satisfaction, tolerance will bring
lasting fame. The wise men of the world will have high regard for those who
practice patience under provocations. Valluvar says that forbearance of the
excesses of a fool indicates great strength of character. In fact, he suggests
that one should conquer others' arrogance by forbearance. These ideas can be
seen in the following kurals.
Even if an untoward evil
is done unto you, it is better not to resent and do an unrighteous deed. (kural-157)
Retaliation gives only
momentary joy. But forbearance gives everlasting glory.
(kural-156)
Not being able to feed a
guest is the most abject poverty. Enduring the excesses of a fool is the
strength of all strengths. (Kural-153)
The wise will not hold
the avengers in high esteem. But, they will regard the tolerant as a treasure
of gold. (kural-155)
One should conquer those
who do harm due to their arrogance with tolerance.
(kural-158)
Forbearance, doing good
in return, and forgetting: Obviously, forbearance is a great virtue. Although forbearance is
good, the fact that someone caused the transgression might be in the back of
our minds. That lingering thought might make us uneasy and may even create a
feeling of hostility. Therefore, it is better to forget the whole incident so
that our mind is at peace. This is precisely why Valluvar says that forgetting
the transgressions of others is even better than forbearance (kural –
152).
In fact, according to
Valluvar, one can do better than forbearance and forgetting. When it comes to handling the harmful
actions of others, Valluvar agrees with Seneca (4 BC – 65AD), the Roman
philosopher, statesman, and dramatist who says, "Unkindness must be
treated with kindness (Book 27 – III)." But, unlike other philosophers,
Valluvar has a unique approach to handling others' evil words, deeds, and provocations.
In fact, he says, "The best punishment for those who do evil to you is to
shame them by returning good for evil and after doing good in return, just
forget the evil that was done to you as well as the good deed you did (kural –
314)." This amazing statement by Valluvar serves as a testimony of his
wisdom and kindness. This is one of the remarkable kurals worthy of being
remembered and followed at all times by everyone. So, concerning provocations
of others, the right sequence of actions is as follows: 1) ignore the incidence
and use forbearance, 2} do something good in return so that the transgressor
will be vexed, and finally, 3) forget the incidence as well as the good deeds
that were done in return.
People with forbearance are better than the
ascetics
The ascetics are known
for tolerating pain and suffering with great patience. They sacrifice all the
worldly comforts, including having regular meals. Although the sufferings of
the ascetics are self-inflicted, their self-control is genuinely admirable.
According to Valluvar, those who practice forbearance are superior to ascetics.
One who patiently bears
the harsh words of a transgressor is purer than an ascetic.
(kural – 159)
Those who endure insults
are better than those who do penance by fasting.
(kural – 160)
Conclusion
Although
it is human nature to seek revenge on those who harm them, it is better to
tolerate others' unkind words and deeds with forbearance. Such forbearance is a
great virtue, and it will bestow everlasting glory. Admittedly, continuing to
practice forbearance is difficult. But it is an act of purity and kindness, and
as a virtue, it is even better than the penance of the ascetics. Returning good
for evil is even better than forbearance. Forgetting the unkindness of others and
the kindness and goodness shown to them is the best course of action that one
should follow to counteract others' misdeeds.
ஐயா,
ReplyDeleteமேலே, 154 வது குறலைக் காணோமே!
நிறையுடைமை நீங்காமை வேண்டின் பொறையுடைமை
போற்றி யொழுகப் படும்.
-முத்து
அன்பிற்குரிய முத்து,
ReplyDeleteஇந்தக் கட்டுரையை நீங்கள் ஆழ்ந்து படித்து, அதில் விடப்பட்ட குறளையும் சுட்டிக் காட்டியதற்கு மிக்க நன்றி. குறள் 154 -ஐ இந்தப் பதிவில் இணைத்துவிட்டேன்.
அன்புடன்,
பிரபாகரன்