Valluvar on Love and
Compassion
Dr. R. Prabhakaran
Introduction
The English word “love” has many interpretations.
Some would say that it is a feeling, whereas others may say it is an emotion.
It is also often described as “chemistry, passion, commitment, affection,
attachment, attraction,” and so on. The real meaning of the word “love” depends
on the context. Some may use the word to describe their feelings towards God,
whereas others may use it to express their feelings about their romantic
partner. Some people would even use the word to describe their feelings towards
their pet or an inanimate object. It is also often used as a synonym for the
word “like.”
Valluvar’s
Ideas on Love
In the context of the
Kural, the word “love” is used to describe affection, concern, and kindness for
one’s family members, friends, relatives, and other acquaintances. In the
Chapter on Love (Chapter 8), Valluvar asserts the following:
Love is the quintessence
of life; without it, a man is nothing but a frame
of bones covered with
skin. (kural
– 80)
Love is the one thing
that binds the body with life. (kural
– 73)
The above two kurals emphasize that love is the
essential ingredient that sustains life in the human body. In other words, one
without love is not really alive. Valluvar reemphasizes in the following kural
that even if one has all the parts of his body functioning properly if his
heart is without love, his external organs are really useless:
If a man’s heart is
devoid of love, to what avail are his external organs? (kural – 79)
In all the above kurals,
Valluvar conveys that inherently everyone has the ability to love. According to
him, love is part of basic human nature. As Mahatma Gandhi says, "Where there is love, there is life.” However, love is often overshadowed by other
emotions such as anger, selfishness and jealousy, and so on. The idea is that
one should find love in one’s heart and cherish it and reflect it in all
interactions with others. The truly happy people are those who love others.
Such a life of love is indeed very rewarding. Again, according to Valluvar,
The bliss the joyous
people enjoy in this world is said to be the fruit of
life with love towards
others. (kural
– 75)
Other well-known writers
and thinkers express similar ideas regarding love. For example, the author,
motivational speaker, and professor Leo Buscaglia says, “Love is life. And if you miss love, you
miss life.” Also, the
importance of love is eloquently described by the famous Irish playwright, novelist, and essayist
Oscar Wilde when he says, “Keep love in your heart.
A life without it is like a sunless garden with dead flowers.”
It is love that binds families
together. The love between husband and wife and their love towards their
children is the foundation for happiness in family life. It is love that
inspires a family member to make sacrifices for his loved ones. Valluvar says,
Those without love in
their heart will keep all they have to themselves.
The ones with love in
their heart will give away even their bones to
their loved ones. (kural
– 72)
In addition to the love towards
family members, one’s love towards one’s acquaintances tends to create a desire
for their welfare, which results in the excellence of friendship (kural – 74).
In other words, casual acquaintances may turn into lasting friendships because
of love. One’s love towards others is often reciprocated by others, and thus
love begets love. Love among family members and community members fosters overall
happiness and camaraderie in a society.
Extension of Love
As the Greek philosopher Aristotle observes, “Man
is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not
accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human. Society is
something that precedes the individual. Anyone who either cannot lead the
common life or is so self-sufficient and therefore does not partake of society
is either a beast or a god.” In reality, man is neither a beast nor a god. He
is part and parcel of society. People are interdependent on each other for
their survival. So, how should a man who loves his family and friends behave
towards other people? What does Valluvar say about a man’s attitude towards
other members of society? While Valluvar uses the word “love” in a
narrow sense to mean the affection, attachment, and kindness among family
members, relatives, friends, and other acquaintances, he defines “compassion”
as the offspring of love (kural – 757). This compassion, as described by
Valluvar, is the hallmark of universal and unconditional love towards all
living beings, including human beings. According to Valluvar, compassion is the
extension of love, and one should act with compassion towards all living
beings.
Sympathy,
Empathy, and Compassion
Although the words
“sympathy,” “empathy,” and “compassion” denote the tendency, practice, or
capacity to share the feelings of others, especially their pain and suffering,
there are essential differences among them. The feelings of sympathy and
empathy are the precursors to compassion. Sympathy is the awareness of another person's
pain and suffering, requiring our attention so that it can be alleviated. In
the case of sympathy, the emphasis is on awareness coming into the knowledge
that there is another person whose situation is deserving of our attention and
that there is some element of pain and suffering that that person is
experiencing. One can have sympathy for a wounded dog, suffering child,
grieving friend, or anyone experiencing any kind of pain and suffering. Having
sympathy does not necessarily mean that it will be followed by action to
alleviate the pain and suffering. While the focus of sympathy is awareness,
empathy focuses on experiencing others’ pain and suffering as our own. Empathy is the attempt of one who is
self-aware to understand and even vicariously experience another person's
situation and emotional state. A doctor may have sympathy for a child’s
suffering. But, a mother will have empathy for her child’s suffering because
she can truly experience the child’s suffering as her own. Compassion is
taking a step further, where a person feels empathy and then tries to take action
to alleviate the suffering of the other person. The emphasis here is on the action. Compassion for another person
requires one to put the other person first, imagine what the person is going through,
and then consider ways to help the person feel better and cope with the
situation.
Valluvar questions the
utility of one’s wisdom if one cannot treat others’ suffering as one’s own
(kural -315). For Valluvar, the awareness of others’ pain and suffering
(sympathy) and treating them as one’s own (empathy) should lead to compassion.
For him, compassion is the most important quality in a human being. He says,
“The world exists because of the existence of the uniquely beautiful quality of
compassion (kural - 571).” More recently, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, the Tibetan people's spiritual
leader, echoed the same sentiment when he said, “Compassion is a
necessity, not a luxury. Without it, humanity cannot survive.”
Compassion and the Golden Rule
Karen Armstrong OBE[1]
FRSL[2]
is a British author and commentator well known for her books on comparative
religion. In her book, 12 Steps to a More Compassionate Life, she says
that the
fundamental principle of compassion is the Golden Rule: “Do unto others what you
would want others to do unto you.” Although this Golden Rule is often
attributed to the Chinese Philosopher Confucius (551 BC – 479 BC), the same
idea can be found in all religions and ethical traditions. This Golden Rule can
also be restated as a negative injunction: “Do not do unto others what you do
not want others to do unto you.” The positive version of the Golden Rule
stresses what a compassionate person should do, and the negative version
emphasizes the actions he should avoid.
Valluvar and the Golden Rule
Valluvar’s ideas on virtues cover both versions of the
above-stated Golden Rule. For example, when Valluvar talks about hospitality
(Chapter 9), speaking in a kind and gentle manner (Chapter 10), being thankful
to others for their acts of kindness (Chapter 11), being equitable and
impartial (Chapter 12), exercising self-control (Chapter 13), possessing
decorum (Chapter 14), having forbearance (Chapter 16) being fearful of evil
(Chapter 21), realizing social responsibility (Chapter 22), helping the poor by
practicing charity (Chapter 23), compassion (Chapter 25) and being truthful
(Chapter 30), he stresses the positive version of the Golden Rule. When
Valluvar advocates the avoidance of the following qualities and activities, he
is really implying the negative version of the Golden Rule: adulterous thoughts
and actions (Chapter 15), envy (Chapter 17), covetousness (Chapter 18), slander
(Chapter 19), futile speech (Chapter 20), meat-eating (Chapter 26), being an
impostor (Chapter 28), fraud (Chapter 29), anger (Chapter 31), violence
(Chapter 32), and killing (Chapter 33). Some of the virtues delineated by
Valluvar are about proactive patterns of good behavior, whereas others are
significant acts of compassion aimed at alleviating the pain and suffering of
others. For example, a person practicing speaking in a kind and gentle manner
may be considered nice, polite, and courteous to others. However, such a virtue
cannot be considered an act of compassion. On the other hand, virtues such as
hospitality, charity, and philanthropy are acts of compassion, and they significantly
impact society and help those suffering from hunger, poverty, illness, and
other similar miseries. Nonviolence and non-killing are extremely compassionate
virtues that help to combat cruelty and harm to other living beings.
Hospitality
During the days of
Valluvar, there were no hotels where travelers could stay, and there were no
restaurants for travelers to eat on their way. They depended upon the
hospitality of the local families for lodging and boarding in the areas where
they traveled. Therefore, helping travelers and even strangers was considered a
great virtue and duty of those leading a family life. In the context of the
Kural, the term “guests” means strangers. Entertaining and being hospitable to
friends and family members were considered essential aspects of the culture and,
therefore, not considered special virtues. However, hospitality to strangers
was certainly considered an act of compassion by Valluvar.
The only purpose of
family life is to entertain guests and exercise hospitality. (kural -81)
Even the nectar of
immortality should not be consumed without sharing with
guests waiting outside. (kural
– 82)
Differences
between Charity and Philanthropy
Although
the terms “charity” and “philanthropy” are often used interchangeably, there
are some differences between the two. Charity tends to be a short-term,
emotional, immediate response focused primarily on rescue and relief measures,
whereas philanthropy is much more long-term, more strategic, and focused on
rebuilding and permanent solutions to societal problems. For example, a person
or an organization engaged in charitable work may provide food and shelter to a
homeless person. Whereas a philanthropist or a philanthropic organization would
focus attention on addressing the root causes of homelessness so that such
situations can be avoided. Generally, in the case of charity, there is direct
contact between those who need help and those who provide help. In the case of
philanthropy, there may not be any direct connection between the helper and
those who receive help. Valluvar places importance on charity as well as
philanthropy.
Charity
Valluvar
is a firm believer in the equality of all people. He declares, “All human
beings are equal by birth, but distinctions arise only because of different
qualities of their actions (kural – 972).” He also says, “Only those who realize that they are part
and parcel of the society are the ones who are really alive. All others are
deemed dead. (214).” This concept of equality and the inherent ability to
identify with all humans are expected to induce empathy for others’ pain and
suffering. Valluvar is of the opinion that this empathy should lead to
compassion, and in turn, compassion should result in actions to relieve others’
pain and suffering. In some cases, compassion may result in charity aimed to
help individuals, and in other cases, it may be in the form of philanthropy
focused more on long-term and strategic activities to solve societal problems.
To him, charity is nothing but helping the poor. There is nothing crueler than
not being able to help the poor. These ideas can be found in the following
kurals:
To give to the needy
alone is charity. All the rest is an investment in anticipation
of a return. (kural
– 221)
The removal of the fatal
hunger of the destitute is the right place to
deposit one’s
wealth. (kural - 226)
Nothing is as painful as
death. Even death will become sweet if a charity
cannot be exercised. (kural
– 230)
In life, there is nothing
more worthwhile than to be recognized for
charity to the poor.
(kural – 231)
Philanthropy
Valluvar is of the
opinion that “God has not created anyone to beg for his survival, and in case
He had done so, he should come down to this earth and wander like a beggar and
perish (kural – 1062).” Valluvar’s view
of the world is that everyone should have the opportunity to earn a livelihood
and live with dignity. In fact, it is the responsibility of the government to
ensure that everyone has such an opportunity. But, in many countries, the
governments are unable to provide the help needed by their citizens. Even in
the wealthiest of all nations of the world, the USA, there is a staggering
number of homeless people and an increasing number of people who are living
below the poverty line. Although the government has the duty to ensure the
welfare of its citizens, there are always situations where the government
cannot address all the problems of all the people. Many non-governmental
organizations and kind-hearted compassionate volunteers and donors are needed
to collaborate and complement the efforts of the government to address the
crisis of poverty and other social issues in many countries. Valluvar believes
everyone has a social responsibility to help their fellow human beings. He
seems to trust the compassion of the individuals rather than the bureaucratic
machinery of the government to address societal problems. So, Valluvar is not
off the mark when he emphasizes the role of individuals to be compassionate and
helpful to those who need help. According to Valluvar, “All the wealth gained
through hard work is for doing service to the deserving people (kural -
212).”
Valluvar proposes three
models for practicing philanthropy. The first model is the “Fresh Water Lake
Model.” Here, “The wealth of a man of eminent knowledge who loves the world and
wants to exercise benevolence is like a lake with fresh drinking water (kural –
215).” In other words, his wealth will provide a perennial supply of benefits
to the needy people, like a tank with drinking water that supplies water to all
the people all the time. This type of philanthropy offers the maximum benefit
to a large number of people for a very long time. For example, modern
philanthropic foundations like the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation,
McArthur Foundation, Ford Foundation, and other such large foundations have
large sums of money in the bank, and the interest obtained from the capital is
used to benefit those who seek assistance. Since the capital is never used,
this type of foundation can provide help to a large number of people for a very
long time.
Next is the “Fruit Tree
model.” In this case, “The wealth of a very benevolent philanthropist is like a
fruit tree in the middle of a town (kural – 216).” The fruit tree supplies fruits to a fairly
large number of people for a specific period of time. When the fruit season is
over, those who need the fruit from the tree will have to wait till the following
season. Practitioners of this type of philanthropy provide help when there is
money and when there is no money, they wait until more funds are available.
Examples of this type of philanthropy would include modern philanthropic
organizations like the United Way, Red Cross, and other organizations which
depend upon donations from the donors and provide benefits as long as funds are
available and wait until more funds are available to render additional
services.
The last model suggested
by Valluvar is the “Medicinal Tree Model.” “The wealth of a truly magnanimous
philanthropist is like a medicinal tree (kural – 217).” In the case of a
medicinal tree in which every part of the tree, including its roots, bark,
flowers, fruits, seeds, and leaves, is useful for medicinal purposes, people
would harvest all parts of the tree, and the tree would no longer exist.
Similarly, the truly magnanimous philanthropist would distribute all his wealth
until there is nothing left to give. This type of philanthropy is like the
“Spend Down Foundations” in the USA. In a Spend Down Foundation, all the assets
are spent for the intended purpose, and once the assets are depleted, then
there is nothing to give.
Although the models
described above deal with the philanthropic patterns of the rich, Valluvar does
not limit philanthropy to the rich. In fact, he is of the opinion that it is
everyone’s duty to be aware of their social responsibility and should feel the
need for sharing whatever they have with deserving people who are in need. To
be specific, he says,
If benevolence would
result in one’s ruin, then it is worth securing that ruin by
selling oneself, if
necessary. (kural
– 220)
According to Valluvar, there is nothing better
than philanthropy either in this world or in heaven (kural – 213). One cannot
be more emphatic than Valluvar in advocating charity and philanthropy.
Nonviolence and non-Killing as acts of compassion
Millions of people are
non-vegetarians. They enjoy eating meat. They are oblivious to the harm and
hurt the animals would have felt when they were butchered. But, there are those
who realize that killing animals for the sake of eating their flesh is indeed
nothing but cruelty to those animals. Based on this realization, they abstain
from eating meat and become vegetarians or vegans. This is truly an act of
compassion. There are many who are vegetarians by birth and have never eaten
meat. There are others who do not like to eat meat because of hygienic and
health reasons. Their adherence to a vegetarian diet is due to family
traditions or other reasons and may not be really due to their compassion
towards other living beings. However, if one follows a vegetarian or a vegan
diet out of concern for other living beings, it is definitely an act of
compassion. Valluvar asks, “How can it be consistent with compassion to fatten
oneself on the flesh of other creatures (kural – 251).” He adds, “Those who
realize that the meat is obtained by creating an ulcerous wound on another
creature should abstain from eating meat (kural – 257).” Valluvar contends that
if one realizes that meat-eating is an act of cruelty and abstains from eating
meat, then he is practicing compassion.
Just like avoiding eating
meat based on the conviction that it is a form of cruelty to animals,
abstaining from acts of violence towards other living beings is considered an
act of compassion. Again, the underlying motivation for abstaining from violence
should be the realization that violence is injurious and harmful, and others’
suffering is like our own suffering. Valluvar is strictly opposed to mental,
verbal, and physical violence against any living being at any time. His
opposition to violence can be seen in the following kurals:
One must abstain from doing deeds to others that one
feels are painful to himself. (kural – 316)
Why does a man inflict those
things he found harmful to himself upon
other living beings? (kural – 318)
Since
speech and actions emanate from the mind, Valluvar considers that “It is the supreme virtue
not to have a harmful thought about anybody in any degree at any moment (kural
317).” Therefore, from the point of view of Valluvar, conscious and deliberate action
undertaken to avoid violence is an act of compassion.
Obviously, not inflicting
harm to other living beings based on the knowledge of and empathy for their
suffering is an act of compassion. But there are occasions when other human
beings, animals, and even plants may need our help. Helping them is also an act
of compassion. Tamil literature alludes to an extraordinary act of compassion
towards a plant by a king named Paari. One day, king Paari was going into a
forest in his horse-driven chariot. He noticed a jasmine creeper lying on the
ground without a tree or any other support to climb upon. He felt that the
creeper might be trampled upon by animals and die. He left his chariot as
support for the jasmine creeper to climb upon and thrive and went back to his
palace on his horse. Another king named Pehan saw a peacock shivering in the
cold weather, and he instantaneously took his upper garment and covered the
peacock to protect it from the severe weather. These examples illustrate that
compassion originates from one’s heart and it manifests itself in many ways.
Sometimes, avoiding violence towards other living beings may be an act of
compassion. Sometimes helping other living beings, including human beings,
animals, and plants, may be an act of compassion.
Conclusion
Valluvar considers that
it is natural for one to have concern and attachment to one’s immediate family.
In his scheme of things, this concern and attachment, which he calls love for
one’s family, and relatives, should expand to other people and to all living
beings. According to him, the expanded version of love is compassion. This
compassion may manifest in the form of charity towards the poor, inspired by a
sense of social responsibility. It may also manifest as philanthropy. Charity
and philanthropy should be practiced because they are the right thing to do and
not because of any anticipated gain in this life or in the future lives. He
says that even if heaven is denied to the giver, giving (charity) is still good
(kural – 222). Like charity, philanthropy should also be carried out as a duty
to society without expecting anything in return. In fact, he says, “Duty to
society demands no return; what good could the world do to recompense the cloud
that pours rain (kural – 211).” When Nobel
laureate Albert Schweitzer says, “The purpose of human life
is to serve and to show compassion and the will to help others,” we can hear him echoing Valluvar’s ideas on love and
compassion.
